Opinions

Since we've told people what we have learned about in regards to having a family we have been given advice or opinions of where to go from here or what to do next. Honestly none of it has been helpful.
I told Matt the other day that we don't need peoples opinions, we just want sympathy, an occasional shoulder to cry on.We don't want anyone trying to misguidedly fix it for us. We don't want advice on the genetic questions of picking boys over girls or picking at all what we will have one day. I know all the suggestions given from family and friends is mostly their way of trying to help fix the issue or make it easier but it doesn't.  Some of the advice given: don't choose to not have boys cause having a boy is such a great blessing, have you considered using donor sperm?, or the best yet... there is always still a chance that it could happen naturally, don't stress. But none of that advice or opinions fixes anything. We can't have kids naturally and its a painful process to get through emotionally but we are getting there. or I should say I am getting there, Matt is doing way better with all of this than I am. I don't think he ever thought when we got married he would see me cry so much. We are grateful for what opinions people have tried to give, since I know this sounds like an angry rant, but honestly there is a time a place for most of them. And at this time, in the process of accepting our trial and working through it, most of the a fore mentioned opinions have not been very welcome.


What we have been slowly trying to figure out is the aspect of financing our future family. Which for me, I have found , is the hardest part. Probably the only good advice I got was from a family that moved to Arkansas. Their advice was to look up government grants. Surprisingly there are programs out there but they are one in a million chance of getting chosen to receive the money for IVF. But we will put the applications out there for them anyways.  I have also been putting applications for jobs out hoping one will at least call me in for an interview. Granted they are all minimum wage jobs, but you do what you gotta do.

What I have been weighing out as another option was to have people host some garage sales and bake sales. Also selling different crafts. I have the ability to cook, sew, paint... why not put that to use and sell the things I make in order to earn the money??? For now we are going to try and round up things from family and neighbors and friends to see if they have anything they are willing to get rid of, that we can sell in a small garage sale or "tag sale" here in New England :) But if anyone wanted to host something like a bake sale or anything else where they live for us and send the proceeds our way we would also appreciate that. Not that anyone has to. Apparently there are families in Utah who have held things like spaghetti dinners to raise the money and selling puzzle pieces that people get to sign and will be put up in the baby's or Babies' room one day after being glued so that they know who helped them get there. And these sound like great ideas but I have no idea how to go about asking for help like this. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but i think it is so hard to ask others for help when it comes to financial difficulty.

Our final option... or our fail safe, if all other options fail or getting a job soon doesn't seem likely there is the option of moving in with the parents.... but that is a last resort if saving money where we are isn't happening.